Vernix and Lanugo

Finally, here they are! Twin 1 is a girl (4 lbs), and twin 2 is a boy (3 lbs). Oh and by the way, their names are NOT Vernix and Lanugo... LOL...

Twin 1 says "Where are daddy and papa?"

After doing a bit of research, we learned that twin 2 has vernix (red skin coloring as the baby starts to breath air) and lanugo (the cream cheese-like coating on the baby's skin to protect him/her from harsh amniotic fluid). Twin 1 looked very clean, though.

The pediatrician predicts that one or both twins might be out of NICU in 10-14 days. We pray that our tiny twin 2 will be fine despite being smaller compared to his sister.

Twin 2 practicing his flamenco moves.

Today we changed our flights, and I'm still shocked how airlines practically milk you sweat and blood so that they get a huge profit from changing the flight. It doesn't make sense why the fee to change a flight is almost as expensive as a new ticket. In the end, we did buy a new ticket and although the original ticket was refundable, we still have to pay a $300 penalty for canceling the original flight.

We went to a Baby Care class last night. Like what our friends were saying, it was kinda useless! I did enjoy it a bit as the speaker was kinda funny (she had 6 children) and some of her advise was common sensical and helpful.

Well, New Delhi, here we come! :)

Lost in cyberspace

It looks like I lost my previous blog. Anyway, I'll update with some pics as they become available.

Meanwhile, our prediction based on the Nuchal Translucency (NT) scan on week 12 in my previous blog was proven to be correct. Based on the "angle of the dangle" evidence, we were very certain to have a girl (i.e. 80% chance), but the other scan had a 68% chance of being a boy (which was also fairly high chance). Nevertheless, we got it right! :)

The twins when they were week 5!

Baby shower pics

Cutest cupcakes ever!

We are very grateful to our small circle of friends for organizing and attending our baby shower. For those who were not able to attend, thanks for sending the gifts. The twins will love all the goodies. Thanks everyone! We'll have a meet the twins day when we come back. Cheers!

Gifts for the twins

32-wk update, but wait, there is more...

Alright, we were so glad to see a somewhat "normal" scan and summary report for the twins yesterday. Our SM (GT) is doing great, and the twins are developing as expected (but see below). Today, we got an email informing us that GT had a "leak" and so she was admitted to the hospital. Aaarghhh!!!!!! Is that normal????

Anyway, GT is in bed rest, so we are hoping that she is fine, and that the twins will stay put for up to 39 weeks (yes, our wishful thinking). Realistically, it's probably not going to be 39 weeks as many twin births I've read on the blogosphere posted by many new parents have happenned in 38 weeks or less. We are praying that GT and the twins will be okay. Eagerly awaiting for an update....

Having read many blogs and information online, we should be taking the new USG results with confidence that our twins will be fine. However, it's also very hard not to worry. It appears that twin 1 (in cephalic position) is really doing well and developing on target based on the gestational age. On the other hand, twin 2 (in breech position) started to lag behind twin 1. Our 28-wk report showed that both twins were practically at the same gestational age, but lo and behold, this 32-wk report showed otherwise. Twin 2 is in essence about 2 weeks behind, especially the abdominal circumference (AC) and femur length (FL). Twin 2's biparietal diameter (BPD) is within the bottom scale of the standard deviation, but still markedly lower in measurement compared with twin 1. The only relief we could muster from this recent report is that the head circumferences of both twins were only three millimeters different. Needless to say, we are concerned for our smaller twin.

A friend of mine today told me that she has heard of twin pregnancies where one twin that is more mature was delivered naturally, while the less mature twin remained in the womb until it matured further and then born weeks later. This is an unlikely scenario for us because a C-section will be done to our SM when the time comes. Oh well, it's a nice story. Please, please stay put as long as possible. Thinking of you, and praying that GT will recover soon from the "leak".

Truth, Lies, and an ABC Australia's Video -- Indian Surrogacy for same-sex or unmarried couples and single parents

I share my disgust with ABC Australia's Lateline (as reported by Kerry Brewster) due to the pathetic quality of the reporting, factual mistakes, and misinformation about the topic. Amani (Meg) has posted the link containing a video and article about it. Her post dissects the many mistakes on the issue. You can also access the ABC webpage by clicking here.

As per Amani's post, Indian surrogacy law has not changed since it was passed many years ago. It is absolutely legal for anyone to commission surrogacy in India; however, in December 2012, the guideline for obtaining a visa to commission surrogacy was changed to a medical visa. Before this, intended parent(s) could do it with just a tourist visa. The problem for single parent(s), same-sex couples and unmarried straight couples is that the new guideline to get a medical visa for surrogacy excludes them. The medical visa for surrogacy now requires intended parents to be a man and a woman, married for at least two years. In essence, the Indian Ministry of Bigotry Affairs has restricted surrogacy for straight married couples beginning 2013. This is very unfortunate! It shows the struggles many same-sex couples have to go through to be a family. It also now discriminates against unmarried straight couples.

There is now uncertainty for same-sex couples, single parents or straight couples on a tourist visa who have already commissioned surrogacy in 2012. It is a real concern, but as far as I know through the blogosphere and info I got from the web, no one (yet) has encountered any problems bringing their baby or twins back home to their respective countries. Yeah sure, FRRO will look down upon single parents or gay couples. FRRO will berate and say awful things about the parent during the interview process. This is expected -- it's a power trip! It's righteous thinking! You just need to take it in and be humble. One blogger who went through the process in January 2013 said, "just smile", and as soon as you get the visa, be glad it is all over. Don't look back!

One thing that you need to know is that once your child or children have the passport(s), there is no lawful reason why FRRO would refuse an exit visa to a bona fide citizen of a sovereign country.  It will be a diplomatic war between your country and the Indian government if FRRO refuses to give an exit visa to your child or children holding legitimate passport(s). Also, in reference to the factually incorrect statement on ABC video/article, you are not in breach of Indian surrogacy law -- there is no law in India banning same-sex or unmarried straight couples or single parents from commissioning surrogacy. As far as I know, there is no law regarding visa requirements for surrogacy other than the recent guideline. Don't take my word as anything could change in India, but rather do your research and find out the truth.

The current ICMR ART Bill is just a bill and not a law, and in fact, the bill permits single parents, same-sex couples and unmarried straight couples to commission surrogacy. Read my previous blogs on the ICMR ART Bill and about the FRRO meeting with the clinics. Bigots are spreading the misinformation.

Don't let the lies and misinformation instill fear on you. Bigotry will not prevail!

Hand-me downs galore!

     It's definitely becoming more and more real to me and my partner. In just over a month, we will be off to pick up the twins. We hope they stay put, and give us time to be with GT for her 36th week USG scan. Please, please, don't come out until we get there! :)
    We are still working on our "nursery" -- we will be in panic mode in a few weeks! Our friend and former neighbor can hardly wait to help decorate the room. Maybe I'll call my inner-Artsy-spirit to add what ever decoration she'll put in the room later on (provided I have the time). She also helped organize our "Baby Shower" in a couple of weeks. We are very luck to have her as a friend. On the other hand, I feel weird having the "shower", but then again, in other people's minds, being two dads with kids are weird as well. There is a show called "The New Normal" and it's nice to watch that they are practically in the same time line as us. Tuesday night, the show was about Baby Shower.

Cocoon times 2!

Car seat-stroller with play toys!!!!

    So, if felt like Christmas this weekend. We got some goodies for the twins. We got blankets, swaddlers, some clothes, bjorn, backpack, breathing sensors, pack and play, and lots more. Thanks to our famous radio personality friend, and Jessica for giving these lovely (pictured) baby items. Thanks also to  Jason and Adrian (Stalking the Stork) for the two Phil and Ted's cocoons. We invited them for dinner, and met their two princesses, Clara and Olivia. The girls are so adorable! We look forward to all the play dates with Clara and Olivia, as well as with other kids in our small community of progressive couples.
    It is great to meet up with other couples who have gone through the same process we are now going through. If you meet anyone in Delhi, or in your own country, who did surrogacy, cherish their friendship as it will be a support system you could have (regardless of the continental divide). We formed a long distance friendship with Linda and Johan, and Barbara and Claudio, despite the fact that they are so far away from us. Technology has made it easy to connect with each other so there is no excuse not keeping the line of communication (unless of course you are sleep-deprived due to the baby or babies).
   Okay, I have no clue what they call these things, so I'll just make up some words.

Tummy Wheel of Fortune thingy-majigy

Starship "playslot" Enterprise 

Formula, formula, formula?... Bueller?

Decision, decision, decision... this is why I hate shopping. I can never decide whether I should buy the item or not. 

My sister used Nan for my niece, who is now 1-yr old. Unfortunately, it is not available here in America. There are several manufacturers I checked out, but it's so hard to decide which one to get. Our friend, who has a 3-wk old boy, uses Earth's Best organic brand. I checked out other organic formula and the other alternative is Baby's Only organic brand, or Safeway organic brand. In terms of nutritional content, they are pretty much the same, so it's the price and whether it's organic would be the deciding factors. We might end up buying the Safeway organic brand. Eventually, we'll play around and mix the cow's milk formula with soy milk formula when the twins are old enough. I never liked consuming a cow anyway.... so our twins don't need to have it's milk either.

Needless to say, it's good to have many choices in case we need to switch. Now let's see, we need what!!!?.... Based on his calculations, my partner said we need about 21 tin cans of formula for the twins during our stay in Delhi. Ugh!!! Don't even ask me how many diapers we need... :)

To our dear friends from Brazil, we are sorry that you will have to start over with the process. We are praying for your next successful attempt. We hope that you will get there soon!

Definitely pregnant! :)

Just a short update. USG scans and belly pic below.

Twin 1

Twin 2

Don't panic! We have 2 months....

Two blankets, clothes and hats

Our neighbor is so sweet! The twins got their very first clothing and blanket. First ever! I'm a bit anxious. There is so much to do before their arrival and we have barely started. We hope to have the nursery ready by March. We are lucky to be surrounded by friends who are kind enough to offer some old baby clothes, a crib, and play pen.

We went to our friend's baby shower over three weeks ago now, and her friend, who we just met then, offered to give some of her baby's old clothings as well. I'm amazed how generous our circle of friends. We are very lucky! We hope to do the same and pay it forward when the time comes.

So, the other day I inquired about the DNA kits for the twins. I was shocked how much it would cost to do the process (not including the shipping cost). I guess the bulk of the cost pays for the service. Maybe I should start my own business doing something like this. :)

I'm half-watching the Superbowl as I'm writing the draft of this post (non-US citizens, I know you could care less!). Anyway, it's so bizarre that they loss electricity in the middle of the game. Maybe we should start blaming Bobby Jindal for teaching creationism in his secondary schools. It is scary to think that there might not be any credible future scientists emerging from Louisiana in the coming generations. Hopefully it will correct itself. Congrats Ravens!

Ta-Ta!

Indian surrogacy for unmarried or same sex couples & single individuals -- Update

Update: I came across this info this week from a Facebook page with regard to the "new" guideline.
"All the clinics have been asked to furnish a list of Commissioning Parents i.e. the ongoing cases to FRRO by 18th February 2013 for their review including the list of frozen embryos and frozen samples. Also stating the stage at which they are pending. The ART registration case and the date of the legal agreement to be prepared would be taken up by the FRRO head with Ministry of External Affairs."
-- Surrogacy Laws Facebook.

This info suggests that everyone who commissioned surrogacy prior to the new guideline will be accepted by FRRO. It would be good to have this info written in "black and white" and disseminated by the FRRO.

I hope that the clinics pressure the Indian parliament to pass the ART Bill very soon.

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Several new parents have blogged about their recent negative experience going to the FRRO. They are lucky, though, to have gone through the hoops, and are now back in their respective countries. I wanted to thank these new parents for sharing their thoughts and experiences on their blogs as it will help others deal with the FRRO.

For some of us who are yet to encounter the nightmare, let's hope no "new" rules will be given by the "Ministry of Bigotry Affairs" for the exit visa requirements. To prepare for the requirements, I suggest you visit the FRRO website. You will need to take note of what you need to bring to the FRRO to get the exit visa. Needless to say, make sure you satisfy your home embassy's requirements first before worrying about the FRRO. Anyway, below is the link of the checklist:

http://www.immigrationindia.nic.in/Newly_born_baby2.htm

Are you considering "commercial" surrogacy? If so, you need to make sure your country allows surrogacy in general. There had been situations in which a person or couples commissioned surrogacy and then the child got stuck in India because their home country denied citizenship to the child, since surrogacy is illegal in their home country (especially commercial surrogacy). This seems to have been an issue in some ART clinics in India, and therefore one of the motivating factors to pass a bill (draft ART Regulations Bill 2010). It's not a law yet, but the Ministry of Home Affairs recently submitted a guideline to embassies and consular offices worldwide that is discriminatory to say the least. Read my previous blog for more info.

Note: I am neither endorsing any lawyer(s) nor providing legal advise for anyone. I also have no connections whatsoever with any business or legal entities in India. I just want to share any info so that you could make an informed decision on whether or not to commission surrogacy in India.

Good luck to all future Intended Parent or Parents!